Naruto 527 Breakdown: So I was sitting there in the bar and this guy comes up to me and he said “My life stinks” and I saw his gold credit card and I saw the way he was looking at people across the room and I looked at his face and you know, what a good looking face, and I just said, “Dude, your perspective on life sucks.” What? I’m feeling Mika right now. Huh…that sounded terribly wrong. What? Mika has me feeling zippy tonight. Demotivational poster inclusive.
So I was coming in for a flip turn way too quickly and flipping way to slowly, rammed my face smack on the wall, and now I have a sparkly band-aid under my left eye. CISAA’s tomorrow. Yea, I’m gonna be wheelin’ like a villain… But, you know, it’s all good, because all I have to do is take almost two seconds full off my 50 free time looking like freakin’ Nelly on LSD…so basically just Nelly. FML, I’m moving to Alaska.
What? I’m supposed to be talking about Naruto? Frack that; as you can see I have better things to bitch about. Like how Justin Beiber didn’t win any Grammies.
Justin Beiber didn’t win any Grammies?! Hahaha!! Feel it, buddy! Hahahaa! Burn,
son daughter of a whore!
Yup, I’m back to normal now. And I be trollin’ of course. U mad bro?
Oh, that’s right, it’s Valentine’s. This is where I post a Naruto-themed love card to underscore the moment, but I’m off that right now. What you gotta do is give your mom a call; tell her that you heart her. Don’t phone late and apologize because you’d just spent an hour and half talking with your girlfriend. You might as well send a switch blade through her chest. You know what they say, moms before tampons, man…because by the time you’re old enough to send them Val cards, they probably don’t need that stuff anymore.
Notice my reluctance to get into anything Naruto-related right now. At this point, I’m trying pretty desperately to avoid that topic by bringing up menstruation, etc., and I’m sitting here wondering how much more you guys can take before you’re wondering what the hell I’ve been smoking (if, of course, you haven’t been wondering that since I started doing Naruto breakdowns.)
So before I get into the miracle of child birth, why don’t we switch gears a bit: back on course, I mean.
“Watch your mouth! Your catchphrase could be your last words!”
Lulz, cool story, bruh.
Now, seriously, where’s the chapter?
That was it?
I want my money back.
What? No, I mean the money I pay Comcast every month for this shit.
I wonder what else Kishi lets his toddlers write…
*five years later at Kishimoto’s divorce*
Lawyer: “Well, Masashi, according to this prenub, all you get are the Play Doh Bucket Full of Fun and this Deluxe Wiggles Dance Mat.”
If you colored up the chapter, tossed some sub-standard animation into the mix, what you would have is filler rivaling the crapness of “Unmask Kakashi.” …And that crap was on a whole other level of crap. At least, something a little bit more mature would have been a smooth start. Think “WWPS – What Would Pickles Say?”
First of all, what in the name of the Lord was with those twins’ ability? The whole battle felt like one giant Pokemon sequence.
Kinkaku: Rope of Clarity, use Wring!
Gingaku: Seven Star Sword, use Curse!
How about you tell Muk to use Soil on the American President…again…
So they steal your catchphrases and basically kill you with it. Ok, Kishi, the line between original and retarded is just as fine as that between different and Lady Gaga. I mean, I know a person that insists that’s what she said to every single random-ass statement including “I’m turning on the radio now,” “I’ll BBM you the number,” “Hey, Britney, I have diarrhea and a cup here, you wanna–” errr… anyway, my point is, I see how that ability can be useful. But seriously? In a manga, that’s just trolltastic, dude.
Honestly, it’s like Kishi decided to life swapsies with Kubo for the week. I mean, Bleach was actually goo–*reads Bleach*…well…anyway, my point still stands…
Of course the elite Chesty and Testy here were no match for the all-excelling power of filler, and they were quickly trolled into what looks like a giant water bottle. Unfortunately, I doubt they’re gone for good. Kishi wouldn’t relinquish such a significant concentration of fanservice. I’m talking about Samui. Or more specifically, Samui’s breasts.
What really does it for me isn’t the fact that the chapter felt like filler, but the fact that it felt like shit filler. As I believe I’ve sort of hinted at before, that final caption was the undigested cherry on top. I’m literally going “Eh?” at the end of the chapter. And now I’m this hooge spirit bomb ready to explode on Kishi. It’s my alter ego, I am…Pickles Fierce.
I better stop now before I get so rattled, I actually go do something productive with my life…like read a book. Despicable.
Alright, so I overstated things a little…okay, a lot. But it’s only because I had such high expectations for this event, especially going by the simple truth that everything else about this war since has been tendered so masterfully. Still, it’s only the beginning of this segment of the war so I’m hoping this less than stellar start will be a thing of the past soon enough. Otherwise, angry mobs with blow torches, straight razors and Vaseline never hurt anyone…severely…
Here’s the winner.
Lol! Someone remind me why I haven’t done these in such a long time?
Voice inside head: “Because you’re a lazy little prick.”
Prospekt, how could I forget?