Naruto 515-517 “Breakdown”: Stack up on your military rations and genocidal maniacs, it’s time for some motherfracking war, baby!! Demotivational poster inclusive. I wouldn’t even call this a breakdown if I were me. Oh, I AM me.
Guess where I’VE been!
An exotic tropical island, you say?
YES! You’re absolutely righto! But here’s some advice from me to you. If you’re going to spend a week in Bermuda, don’t do it on a training camp trip, because all those pretty, clear waters and stunning vistas will do is make the pain from swimming 5 miles each practice twice a day just a little bit less agonizing. That is, of course, if you’re not too sore to actually get your eyelids to let loose.
I thought I’d made arrangements to have the breakdown done by someone else, but apparently my email requesting for a substitute was sent to the wrong address.
Way to go, Captain Dyslexic.
I understand it’s a triple breakdown, but this is going to be so short. It’s because I get incredibly pressed (for time) these days. In fact, I barely feel comfortable calling it a breakdown.
Oh, I’ll also have you know I bust a couple billion nerves on the last breakdown…you know, trying to keep it squeaky clean and all. The doctor says such a prodigious defection from true personality may result in a seizure of human metabolic functions. In other words, if I don’t show you this video in honor of the new movie just released…I’ll die.
The doctor also advised me to to embrace the nasteh within. Nothing, not Disney, not Oprah, not even Pokemon…nothing can withstand the omnipotent force that is pervertedness. That’s right, I said not even Pokemon…
*listens smugly to the sweet sound of chorused gasping*
Yeah. Feel it, buddy.
Now I went and forgot this is supposed to be about Naruto. Shame on me!
As chapter 515 came along, by its end, I made a discovery: one, I’m assuming, more of myself than anyone or anything else for that matter. By my perception, the first few pages had this gnawing One Piece vibe to them. It’s that sense of eccentric proportions I’m talking about: from Tsuchikage’s ridunculous power to that very cover page above. After those, it didn’t matter if Kishi drew several variations of feces through the reamaining pages, it would still have been epic.
Fortunately, though, it was much better than feces. It was glorious manure. Don’t get me wrong; I mean that in the best manner possible. It basically fertilized the infant roots and stems of this war, and fosters those of excitement, which for me, experienced some exponential growth from the first to last bonus pages.
It’s sad how I read this one a public place, because I was this close to dropping them pants.
It was as I’d expected afterwards. After the dust had settled from the explosive last chapter, it was easy to guess how everything succeeding would turn out, based on its nature. Since 515 marked the official beginning of the war, you’d know what follows is buildup.
As for 516, while I don’t know who to blame for doing way too much acid on the first page, I wouldn’t fully understand any negative feelings toward the chapter as a whole. It wasn’t fantastic by any means, but it ran smoothly and really set things in motion.
Like I said, it wasn’t fantastic, but you can argue that it could have been.
Gaara: *raises hand at troublemakers*
“This is my pimp hand. And I’m not afraid to slap a bitch.”
Then along came 517, which I fear a lot of people didn’t get the gist of. It was interesting to see how Kishi used Omoi to mirror the feelings of many of the shinobi that comprise the Alliance. Off of face value, you can imagine Omoi was the primary focus, but if you observed a little more closely, you could tell this was a war for the next generation: the young generation that has only known peace. Whether or not they choose to admit it, there will be that anxiety attached to war, and they will have to beat it, just like Omoi did.
So far, I’m liking how Kishi is handling things. Thankfully, he isn’t rushing through things anymore, as far as I see it. I know for a fact that the action is about to begin. And, of course, with that comes the fun. And the best part? Other characters will finally be given their time in the sun.
…At least until the war is over.
I found Akamaru!
What do you know, it is a guy dog…
See you later this week.
Prospekt, how could I forget?